By the time my son turned four months, I was so exhausted that I was determined to sleep trained him. All these books kept telling me that he should be sleeping by the time he weight 11 lbs. Well, since I was breastfeeding I had to be up every 3 hours to pump. So I read all the books and tried to sleep train him. He would cry and one night he even threw up from all the crying. I said to myself, why am I putting him through this? What good is it going to do if he’s throwing up. I threw all the baby sleep training books out. None of it worked for me. Not even the no cry sleep solution. But one thing did work for me and that is mother’s instinct. It didn’t feel right for me to force him to sleep on his own. The only thing he’s ever known his entire life was the comfort of sleeping with mommy and daddy. Hassan is one now and we are still happily sleeping together. He sleeps through the night now without a bottle. I’m a full time working mom so the only real time I have to cuddle with my son is when we’re sleeping. Although he can well sleep on his own in his crib, the bed just feels empty without him. One day, he won’t need me or want me to sleep with him. So until then, my only advice is to enjoy every second of it. I miss those days when he was so tiny and all he could do was look up at me with his big eyes. So I am glad that I listened to my heart and let nature takes its course. While you may be sleep deprived today, just know that it doesn’t last long. I wish I can give you a timeframe as to how long this sleep deprivation phase will last. But I don’t have an answer for you. Every child is different. I remember when my cousin was born, you could never hear sound from her. It was like her parents brought her home sleeping. She never woke up in the middle of the night and when she was awake she was happy. My son came out with eyes wide open and you couldn’t get him to sleep for anything. But I’ve learned to adjust to him instead of forcing him to adjust to me. I’ve learned that even though it’s frustrating and tiring, sleep training is too harsh. Self – independence will come with time. It doesn’t happen just because a child or baby need to sleep alone. The whole point of this is listen to your heart. If you feel that it is right to sleep train, then go ahead and find a method that works. If you are okay with co-sleeping, who cares what anyone has to say. Do what feels right.
But don’t just take my word for it.
Namaste
Sleeping Training. May 28, 2010
My Birthing Story May 11, 2010
In honor of my son, Hassan, turning one I’m going to share my birthing story.
I remembered years ago I ran across a parenting magazine that had a photo of a mother giving birth. She looked so peaceful with just her, her husband and midwife. Something about that photo made me think that is how giving birth should really be. Growing up I never heard about the positive birthing stories. I thought all births were like on TV. My own mother had a very terrible birthing experience with me. When I became pregnant, I knew that I wanted to bring my son into this world with alot of love and peace. I knew that being pregnant and giving birth was probably the only chance I’ll get to help God with a miracle. My journey to getting pregnant was not smooth sailing. Because of my recurring episodes with fibriods, my doctor was not sure I may be able to conceive or if I would be able to carry a baby full term. But my doctor was really good at reassuring me that I had nothing to lose, but to try. I became pregnant with my son in Sept 2008. Just as soon as I knew I was pregnant, I began researching my birthing options.
Of course in telling people that I am going to have a painless birth, I had alot of unsupportive opinions. However, that never stopped me from trying to find a better method. In doing so, I first ran across Hypnobirthing. It gave me alot of history about hypnosis as a childbirth method, but I wanted something more. That is how I ran into Hypnobabies. I did the home study course around my 28th week. My husband came to me one day and suggested me get a Doula so that I can be really prepare. I was able to Lorraine Shorman. Not only was she a doula, but also a Hypnobabies instructor. She was already on board with the childbirth method and that was a plus for me. I wanted someone who believe that birthing should be comfortable.
My estimated due date was June 5th So by the week of May 10th, I felt I was going into labor. We had a second and last meeting with Lorraine on May 12th. I told her I felt like I was going to go into labor. She told me that sometimes women feel like that, but it could be another two weeks. Still with the feeling that I was going to labor soon, I decided to work from home the next day May 13th. Since I didn’t feel I was making any progress, I decided that I would go back to work on May 14th. Well, I never made it to work that day. My water broke at exactly 3:45 am while I was asleep. I felt a gush of water and woke my husband up. He asked me if I was sure and I told him, I can’t stop the water. Hypnobabies teaches that it is okay to labor at home until the contractions are really going. So we waited about 6 am before we called anyone. My husband went to the store to get us some snacks for the rest of the day and for our stay at the hospital. By 11 am, my labor wasn’t making any progress so under the direction of Lorraine we went on a walk. I could tell you that I was very much comfortable and really couldn’t feel the contractions. They were never strong enough for me or I just never felt them. We went back home and I started to listen to my birthing guide hoping that the contractions would start to move. Of course nothing happened. By 6 pm, Lorraine came by. We were watching the Lakers game while I sat on the birthing ball. Lorraine started to time my contractions which were now a good 5-6 min apart. We left at half time to go to the hospital and got there around 7:30 pm. Since Lorraine went to get gas, my husband and I checked into triage. Since I was doing so well, I had walk myself to the labor and delivery. No one offered me a wheelchair because they weren’t sure if I was in labor. I was walking like normal. In triage, my nurse Janice checked me and I was only 3 cm dilated. Lorraine told me that it would be 1 cm per hour and so I prepared myself mentally for a long night. I think in our heads, we all thought I wouldn’t push until the morning or next day. Finally, Janice settled us into a nice room for delivery. Because she had read my birthing plan, I had very little vaginal exam. So I wasn’t sure how fast I was dilating nor did I feel it. It wasn’t a concern. The contractions were a bit stronger, but manageable. At one point, I asked Lorraine how strong were the contractions. She told me medium strong and I asked her when was it going to be more intense. In my head, I was mentally preparing for the worst. However, I handled each contractions very relaxed and never felt uncomfortable. While I was prepared for the worst, the worst never happend. I had the right tools to get me through each contractions. I started to feel the contractions back to back and told Lorraine. She said that sometimes the contractions piggy back ride. I was wondering why I didn’t get a break in between my contractions. I asked Janice to help me to the bathroom. While in there, I felt really good so I asked her if I can stay there. She said there’s a chance the baby might come out so I had to go back to my bed. While standing up, I felt a quick nausea and hot and cold moment. I knew that it was a transformation phase. I got back to my bed and felt the next contraction. Still very comfortable. However, this one came with the urge to push. So I told Lorraine I need to push. I remember her calling the medical staff and my husband saying he needed to go to the bathroom. I told him he better stay and so he did. Before I knew it, about 20 people were in the room. Some checking the monitors and some telling me not to push. I had about 5 people hold me down and telling me not to push. It was very hard to fight that urge. At times I would give in and at times I would control it. Before I knew it, my doctor was there. The bed was broken down and I started to push. Everyone helped me breathe my baby down, but left me to do most of the work. I never felt my son crowning, but according to my doctor his head was already there. Everyone was standing on the opposite side of me watching me push. Let me remind you that it was still very comfortable and I was still very much in control. I never knew when my son came out until the doctor put him on my belly. He was born at 11:49 pm on May 14th. He weighed 5 lb 10 oz and measured 19 inches long. My total active labor time was only 4 hours. Thanks to my husband and doula Lorraine, I remain comfortable at all times.
While there are many experiences in life that helped shape my attitude, this is definitely one to remember. This one experience reminds me of how I could do the impossible. So many people thought I was crazy to dream of a painless birth, but I did it. I hope more women will find my story inspiring and will be empower to chose a birthing method for themselves. We are in control of our body and our body is doing something very natural. It knows how to do it and we need to trust it.
Please let me know if you have any questions on my story. I highly recommend the Hypnobabies class and of course to hire a doula.
But don’t just take my word for it.
Namaste
